Mr John Clarke

Memo to all teaching staff.

It was made very clear during the build-up to the Olympics, that establishing sensible rules about the students getting to bed at a reasonable hour, would be an important consideration in preparing for the important scholarship exams set down for the week following the closing ceremony. I’m sorry to say that a couple of our better students have failed to perform and will have to sit supplementary exams in order to pass at all. As had been repeatedly stressed beforehand, the young are often not the best judge of how much rest they need and at times such as this, they require guidance about establishing a routine and sticking to it. These results have been a major disappointment and, unsurprisingly, our marketing people have steam coming out their ears. Here are two of our brightest and best photographed during the oral section of the language exam. Further comment is superfluous.

U. R. Orlon-Notice
The Board,
St Expensives.