Mr John Clarke

Memo to all teaching staff.

It was made very clear during the build-up to the Olympics, that establishing sensible rules about the students getting to bed at a reasonable hour, would be an important consideration in preparing for the important scholarship exams set down for the week following the closing ceremony. I’m sorry to say that a couple of our better students have failed to perform and will have to sit supplementary exams in order to pass at all. As had been repeatedly stressed beforehand, the young are often not the best judge of how much rest they need and at times such as this, they require guidance about establishing a routine and sticking to it. These results have been a major disappointment and, unsurprisingly, our marketing people have steam coming out their ears. Here are two of our brightest and best photographed during the oral section of the language exam. Further comment is superfluous.

U. R. Orlon-Notice
Chairman,
The Board,
St Expensives.

Permalink →

Dear Parents and Students,

As you know, we here at the school are keen to establish leading-edge standards in dealing with environmental issues. We are not just expressing concern; that’s not good enough. We are setting targets, detailing benchmarks and striving to be carbon neutral as an institution by 2014.

While there is broad agreement in the school community about remodeling our activities in such a way as to reduce the impact we have on the planet, there is nevertheless some reluctance or incapacity to act individually. Last week three different elective groups were asked to report on what they had done PERSONALLY by way of bringing about change. The following evidence speaks for itself. It is a sad comment on our commitment to the serious problems we face, that some of us are still avoiding the issue. If we cannot address the question of personal responsibility for change, what hope can we offer our young?
It is perhaps time some of us had a good, long, hard look at ourselves.
I hope to see many of you at the Choral Recital on the 15th.

Yrs,

Dougal Entendre,
Green Learning Centre
St Expensives

Permalink →

Great News!

With the Intercollegiate Athletics Championships only ten days away this could not be happening at a better time.
Earlier this week Rainer Soros (4M) lapped the field in the 5,000 metres and put in a PB which would have ensured a podium finish at the nationals. Rainer’s form this year has been outstanding and he has looked the goods against all-comers in recent outings. His current form (three PBs in successive events) is a great tribute to the work he has done over summer, to the dedication of his coach Abe Luddydope and to the improvement in school facilities undertaken last year by the board. If Rainer can maintain this form, he will acquit himself extremely well and the Intercollegiate record could be in serious danger. He certainly carries with him the hopes and very best wishes of us all.
Go Rainer!

Permalink →

Dear Parent or Guardian,

I regret that some slight concerns have emerged in relation to aspects of Book Club. Many of you will be aware of this important initiative, begun in response to declining levels of literacy and very well supported by the English staff. A reading programme has been worked out, featuring works designed to stimulate young minds and to encourage an interest in ideas. Despite the best efforts of organisers, however, Book Club is often regarded as just an excuse to fool around, a problem which the following image demonstrates very clearly.

Many of these students have obviously not read the book. There is inattention. There is chatter. There is complete disregard for the nature and purpose of the exercise. No benefit can accrue from this programme unless students seize the opportunity presented to them. This is not a time for immaturity, for lack of interest or for wasting everyone’s time.

These students are not just letting the programme and the school down; they’re letting their teachers down, their parents down and their friends down. But more importantly, they are letting themselves down.

I expect some improvement over time but so far this year, this is a disappointing response.

Starling, second from the left, bottom row, come and see me afterwards.

Iva Krapp-Daley
Co-Ordinator
Book Club

Permalink →