Dear Mr and Mrs Beeigh,
I write in connection with your son Wally, who was absent from an important Geography exam on Tuesday.
The school received a telephone message from Wally, saying he was unwell and would be unable to attend. We were naturally disappointed since Wally has shown some promise in the subject and would benefit from the experience of testing himself in examination conditions.
I have listened to Wally’s telephone message several times and what I initially assumed to be static on the line, sounds very like surf. I was confirmed in this rather uncharitable view when a camera confiscated from Wally’s cousin Anne Otherwally-Beeigh contained several photographs of Wally, in excellent health on the day in question, enjoying himself with friends, at a well-known coastal resort.
You may wish to call and discuss this. It is a great concern for us here of course, since it sets a bad example to others. I’ve spoken to Wally about the incident and have encouraged him to improve his attitude as a matter of urgency.
I hope to see you at Eucharist.
Yrs,
A. Bigshot
Examination Co-ordinator
St Expensives