Mr John Clarke

We had an excellent response to last month’s quiz and we congratulate everyone who entered. The winner was Robin Vale of Robinvale. For the record the correct answers were:

  1. Climate Change. (We’d also accept Global Warming), John Howard. Eleven Years. Nothing.

  2. Punt Road. With a huge international effort and determination on all sides, there is some prospect of a solution in the middle east.

  3. ‘To be or not to be’ (Shakespeare), ‘I have a dream’ (Martin Luther King), ‘This was their finest hour’ (Churchill), ‘The budget’s buggered’ (Wayne Swan).

  4. Stage three and half water restrictions. Peter Pan and the unicorn are imaginary figures for children.

  5. Brendan Nelson. He was CEO until Malcolm Turnbull made a successful cash offer for the party in late 2008.

  6. Kevin Rudd. More work is required on the voice, the rhythm and the content but otherwise the Obama impression is coming along nicely.

  7. There were two deliberate mistakes in the announcement: ‘Bailout’ and ‘Property Developers’.

  8. False. There were only seven wonders of the ancient world and Rex Hunt was not one of them.

  9. False. It is not an inventory of Scottish vegetation. He played The Joker in ‘Batman’.

  10. False. It is not because he can’t get another job. It is due to a selfless obsession with representing the good folk of Higgins.

  11. False. George W Bush had no second language. His first language will be known when the CIA files are opened.

  12. False. Hussein is the name of the Jordanian royal family. Usain Bolt is a rapid pedestrian.

  13. True. When Jelena Dokic appeared at the 2002 Australian Open she was booed. When she appeared at the 2009 Australian Open she was photographed wearing a flag and her opponent was booed. The media were present on both occasions.

  14. False. Melbourne’s Public Transport system is not a raffle. A raffle doesn’t get cancelled twice a week, catch fire, bend, buckle, break, melt, or require a billion dollars worth of infrastructure.

  15. True. Work stopped on the desalination plant in winter because the site was underwater (This only happens every year).

  16. False. John Brumby is not an acknowledged international expert on water management.

  17. Ron Walker. The Grand Prix. $45million a year.

Q18. Andrew Symonds. All the others are boofheads.

  1. No it does not sell toilets. A convenience store is so called because its prices are sufficiently high to make it convenient for the owners.

  2. The Liberal Party. The Brady Bunch fell apart when the ratings dropped.

  3. The Howard Years. Paradise Lost is a poem by John Milton.

  4. Peter Garrett. Everything Midas touched turned to gold.

  5. Phillip Ruddock. The others are all garden ornaments.

  6. Kevin Andrews. Dr Haneef will see you now.

  7. Jeff Kennett. Ivan the Terrible was called Ivan.

  8. Tony Abbott. The Victoria Cross is a bravery award.

  9. George Pell. The others are Darth Vader and Anna Wintour.

  10. Farnsie, Barnsie, Warnie, Tubby, Boonie, Buddy, Gillie and Punter. Ian Frazer is an immunologist, best known for his work on the development of a cervical cancer vaccine.

  11. False. There is an economy. It comes down the chimney once a year if you believe really hard. Perhaps if all the children join hands.

  12. Correct. Hedge-funds are monies collected in order to facilitate the purchase of herbaceous borders.