Mr John Clarke

Things that don't quite fit anywhere else go here.

Dear Parent or Guardian,

I regret that some slight concerns have emerged in relation to aspects of Book Club. Many of you will be aware of this important initiative, begun in response to declining levels of literacy and very well supported by the English staff. A reading programme has been worked out, featuring works designed to stimulate young minds and to encourage an interest in ideas. Despite the best efforts of organisers, however, Book Club is often regarded as just an excuse to fool around, a problem which the following image demonstrates very clearly.

Many of these students have obviously not read the book. There is inattention. There is chatter. There is complete disregard for the nature and purpose of the exercise. No benefit can accrue from this programme unless students seize the opportunity presented to them. This is not a time for immaturity, for lack of interest or for wasting everyone’s time.

These students are not just letting the programme and the school down; they’re letting their teachers down, their parents down and their friends down. But more importantly, they are letting themselves down.

I expect some improvement over time but so far this year, this is a disappointing response.

Starling, second from the left, bottom row, come and see me afterwards.

Iva Krapp-Daley
Co-Ordinator
Book Club

Memo to all Parents, Staff and Students.

The annual theatre production is always a highlight of the school year and, as audience numbers and responses attest, ‘Oliver’ (which played all week in the new open-air venue, in perfect conditions) was a particular triumph. Thanks must go to Mr E. Flight and Ms Anthropy, whose tireless work and dedication has once again produced spectacular results. It is a striking and very satisfying feature of the school’s music and drama programme that so many students get involved, whether as performers or as part of the all-important backstage crews, toiling ceaselessly behind the scenes on the lights, the mixing desk, or in makeup and costumes. Our congratulations go to all. Well done everyone.

‘Where is Love’, performed by Watt L Bird

‘Oom Pah Pah’ really got the occasion going and gave K Warla a chance to show his skills.

A humourous interlude. ‘Reviewing the SItuation’, in which E Kiddner’s unique style won a great many admirers.

The powerful ‘My Name’ was delivered superbly by A Steer.

A poignant note was provided by C Gull’s rendition of ‘Boy for Sale.’


One of the hits of the show, ‘Food Glorious Food,’ had everyone sing along, ably let by the perennially engaging William Wagtail.


One of our Indian students in a minor role.

‘Consider Yourself’ had the audience singing along.

‘As Long as he Needs Me’ was a real highlight. Not a dry eye in the house.

The colourful costumes were a delight, admired by all and a great a tribute to the work of the wardrobe dept. Cute hat!


Very well done one and all. Thank you and good night.

Ray Parkin told stories, real stories, non-fiction, and he didn’t tell them to amuse or to entertain. He told them to record. Ray wanted you to understand, to know how it was. This was interesting to me because I knew nothing about the Japanese war, or the navy. I was at his place with my daughter one day when a bird tried to fight another bird. She drew his attention to this and Ray said: “You should have seen it this morning. That big one came flying out of that tree straight at the honeyeater and he got her athwartships.” I was learning these stories and I was also learning the way they were told. I was learning a new language, a new terminology.

Laurens van der Post wrote in his foreword to Out of the Smoke, the first of Ray’s three books about being a prisoner of the Japanese, that he had read much of the story years before. This was true. Ray was sitting down drawing in Bandoeng camp in Indonesia one day when van der Post, a fellow POW, introduced himself. He asked Ray who he was and how he came to be there. Ray told him the story: he’d been at the wheel of the HMAS Perth, it was sunk in battle, he and some others got to shore, rigged up a lifeboat, headed for Australia, hit a typhoon and were blown down to Tjilatjap, on the coast of Java, some 11 hours later.

“That’s a great maritime war story,” said van der Post. “You should write it down.”

“Yes, I’ve written it down,” said Ray.

“I mean it should become a book,” said Laurens.

“Yes, it is a book,” said Ray.

“How can it be a book? We’ve only been here a week.”

“I met a bloke the other day who was a bookbinder and he bound it.”

It was written in pencil on small individual sheets of shiny toilet paper. When Ray was moved from camp to camp it fitted in his shoe, down behind his heel. Van der Post explained that he had published books, and he undertook to introduce Ray to his publisher once the war was over. Years later Leonard Woolf, Virginia’s husband, rang Ray in Melbourne. Ray went to England and Hogarth Press printed his book. Cecil Day Lewis was his editor.

“Wasn’t he the poet laureate?” I asked, impressed.

“Yes he was,” said Ray. “But he didn’t change anything in the book.”

I learnt that Ray had been through a great ordeal. And I learnt he was not a racist. He did not hate the Japanese. “That was one of the causes of the war,” he said. “It cannot be the result.” Ray, like Weary Dunlop, was influenced by the East, by the place and the ideas. I sometimes saw Ray asked about his experiences by others, and his responses were seldom what they expected.

“The Burma-Thailand Railway, The Speedo, Hellfire Pass – what was that like?” they’d ask.

“The flowers in that area are among the most beautiful I’ve ever seen,” Ray would reply. “We were lucky to be there at that particular time of the year.”

I asked Ray questions too. I learnt more things. I learnt the reason Australians survived better than others in the camps was not that they helped each other and were mates. Ray said the best thing you can do for anyone else in a situation like that is to be completely self-reliant. A few years ago he fell in the garden; it turned out he had a neurological virus with a French name. He couldn’t walk. He couldn’t write. He went to a convalescence place. Then one day he told me he thought he might come home next week.

I said: “Do you want to come home next week?”

He said: “I’d want to know I could walk four kilometres, up to Ivanhoe shops and back, so I can do for myself.”

“Do you think you can do that?”

“Well, I can do three and a half.”

“How do you know that?”

“I measured it out around the hospital and I’ve been doing it for a fortnight.” Very self-reliant.

Ray wrote and did drawings all the time he was in captivity. The penalty if you got caught was death. Dunlop, a surgeon, hid a lot of this material inside his operating table and gave it back after the war. One thing I asked Ray about was a series of little drawings of merchant ships. “Oh,” said Ray, “there was an English bloke in one of the camps. He’d been in the merchant navy before the war. After lights out we’d lie there and I’d get him to remember ships he’d seen. Sometimes I’d seen them myself, before the war. Sometimes they were ships I had never seen. I’d ask him to describe the details. Where was the funnel? What colour was it? And then I’d draw it. And then I’d show him the drawing and he’d look at the drawing and he’d say: ‘Yep. That’s it.’”

The drawings were beautiful. The war finished. The camp was liberated. The authorities came around and asked the men to fill out forms naming the commandants and guards who had done these terrible things. Ray called it “name your war criminal”. Anyone listed in the forms was going to be charged with war crimes. “We won’t be here,” thought Ray. “These people will be charged and we’ll be back in Australia. They’ll have no defence. They can’t cross-examine us.”

Ray thought the commandant of this last camp had shown them kindness. Instead of marching them down the beach before they went into the coalmine, he let them walk. Ray was able to pick up flowers and leaves and butterflies. One day the commandant summoned Ray to his office, sent the guard out of the room and gave him a small tin of children’s watercolours. This meant he knew about Ray’s drawings – a summary offence. Maybe it was a trap. But Ray trusted him and took the paints. The commandant made Ray put the paints in his pocket before calling the guard back in and dismissing Prisoner Parkin. Later this same commandant had the prisoners dig a big pit in the yard, but he didn’t shoot them. Each day he’d get them to re-dig it, or to dig an extension on, or something. But he didn’t shoot them.

So when they were liberated, Ray didn’t fill out his form. He drew a picture of the camp and gave it to this man, and he wrote: “To commandant X, with thanks for his kindness, Parkin.” The commandant was later charged with war crimes. Unlike a lot of the others, he wasn’t executed. He had one piece of evidence to present in his defence.

Another thing Ray told me about was Captain James Cook. Ray was a great admirer of Cook’s seamanship and gifts as a navigator. Ray’s neighbour Max Crawford, a history professor at Melbourne University, had asked him various questions about the ship and Ray knew so much about Cook and his voyage that Crawford encouraged him to write it down. He did, recording everything in big foolscap books, each day of the voyage: Cook’s log, Cook’s diary, what Banks wrote, what Parkinson wrote. Then Ray wrote what the ordinary person on board would have experienced that day. Then there were all the exquisite drawings of sails and ropes and equipment, all the charts, all done by Ray.

I said: “This should be published.”

“If you can get it published, good for you,” Ray replied.

‘H.M. Bark Endeavour’ was eventually published by The Miegunyah Press, an imprint of Melbourne University Press. In 1999 it won the New South Wales Premier’s Book of the Year award. Ray, who was 88 by this time, enjoyed his success.

After that Ray began to write about his philosophy of life. He saw the world as a whole thing. One day he told me he felt particularly close to Thelma, his late wife, in a couple of places in the garden. I asked him where he met Thelma. “Do you see the way the river comes around that corner there?” he said. “And that bump there, and that tree? Thelma was sitting under that tree when I first saw her.”

“Is that why you bought this piece of land and built the house here?”

“Of course it is.”

Ray searched for a way of understanding the world and the things he’d seen and experienced. He arrived at a Taoist philosophy and a deep respect for nature. The way a tree knows. Where the sun is. Where water is. He remembered being in the small park over the road from the house where he grew up, in Vere Street, Collingwood, and seeing a dragonfly under a leaf, hiding from a bird. They have knowledge, he said. “We have knowledge too, in each cell. We should listen to that knowledge. Not be fooled by desire for things we don’t need.” Scattered among the things he wrote are ideas from the books he read: the Bible, Plato, Freud, Jung, Spinoza, Kant, novels, political works, philosophy. I once asked him what he needed. He said he needed good food twice a day and it was good if he could sleep dry.

A couple of other things gave Ray satisfaction. When he led the Anzac Day parade in Melbourne a few years ago they asked if he wanted a jeep to ride in. “It’s a march,” he replied. “I’ll march.” But he wanted a navy uniform; he didn’t want anyone thinking he was army.

“They won’t give you a uniform,” his son John told him.

“Why not?”

“They gave you one in 1928 and you lost it.” He got one in the end, and marched all the way.

Another satisfying moment came in 1967 when they found HMAS Perth in the Sunda Strait. People had been looking for it for years. They consulted Ray. It was where he said it would be.

“Is there anything you’d like from the ship?” asked Dave Burchell, the diver.

“Yes,” said Ray, and he asked for the save-all from the wheelhouse, where he had been standing during the battle. The save-all is a little scallop-shaped metal holder in which a bosun’s whistle or keys might be put for safekeeping. Burchell did the dive, found the save-all, brought it back and it sat on the wall of Ray’s study. A place for everything. And everything in its place.

Ray Parkin 1910-2005

Dear Mr and Mrs Kiddner,

As you may be aware, some gym equipment has gone missing in recent weeks from the store-room at the rear of the pavilion. One of your sons was seen attempting to break into the store-room and I’m afraid that when questioned about what he was doing (he was supposed to be at orchestra practice) he said he was looking for ants. Why he would come up with such a pathetic explanation for his behaviour is not obvious to us. I’ve spoken to other staff members and no-one reported any project involving a need for ants. When asked why he thought there might be ants under the store-room, your boy said ‘I could smell them’.

You may care to discuss this with us. The pilfering of school equipment is a very serious matter indeed and the ants story, which your young bloke seems to be sticking to, is little short of ludicrous.

Jim Teacher,
Head of Phys Ed.
St Expensives.

IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO ALL DRIVERS. CHANGES TO THE ROAD RULES.

Unless you are a taxi driver, you cannot be in control of a motor vehicle without a working knowledge of the road rules. Here they are:

  1. Place the key in the ignition and start the vehicle. Ease out into the traffic, using your indicators (check manual). Once the vehicle has attained a speed of 15km per hour, get on the phone.

  2. When changing lanes, be aware that the distance between vehicles in the lane you are moving into, must be a minimum of one centimeter (1 cm).

  3. When moving into a major road from a side-road, stop, check that the vehicle you’re going to pull out in front of is getting closer, then pull out in front of it.

  4. If traveling slowly, pull over into the right-hand lane to allow others to pass.

  5. If your vehicle is displaying an L sign (these are readily available from most novelty stores) you can change lanes at any time. It is the duty of other vehicles to get out of your way, either by braking or speeding up to avoid you or by leaving the road entirely and motoring in a less formal manner through the tundra.

  6. Your vehicle is fitted with a handy mirror so you see up your nostrils and check your skin for minor imperfections. Car manufacturers didn’t go bankrupt by not paying attention to detail. The best time to work on your face is when you are stopped at traffic lights or in a queue, or while driving along a relatively straight section of whoops who put this river here?

  7. Be aware at all times that the vehicle you are driving has a window. For your convenience this is placed directly in front of the driver. There are no other windows in the vehicle.

  8. Other vehicles have windows all over the place, front and back and on both sides. If they don’t see you coming, it’s their fault.

  9. Every vehicle is fitted with a large wheel on which to rest the forearms while texting. Some retail outlets sell covers for the large wheel. These soften the feeling while texting and thereby provide driver comfort. If you hear loud tooting while texting, complete your message carefully, push ‘send,’ set aside the texting unit and look out the front window. The road should now be clear ahead. Proceed.

  10. When parking the vehicle, try to make a pattern with the other vehicles parked in the area. If they are angle-parked, try to approximate that general idea in your own work. If they are parallel parked, try to make the angle less obvious. Cars are fitted with bumpers so you can feel roughly where you are during such manouvres as might be required.

  11. If you are still at the age of rutting rituals the main feature of your vehicle is the sound system. Crank it up and lie back in the seat when parked or when stopped at traffic lights. If the vehicle is not pulsing with the rhythm of the doof doof sound, consult your dealer. The vehicle is faulty and no chicks will have anything to do with you.

  12. If you are driving very slowly along a major city street, looking for a park, do not indicate that you are doing so. Other drivers must not find out that you are looking for a park as they might want one for themselves. Keep them behind you and if you are unable to find a park, stop and let your twelve friends out or accelerate back into the traffic or do a U-turn. Whatever.

  13. If you have not seen any other vehicles for some time, don’t know where you are, seem to be driving through a moonscape and wonder if you’ve just seen the tardis, you are possibly on some new tollway. Enjoy Adelaide.

  14. When backing, monitor your progress from time to time in the bathroom mirror. This will allow you to see the vehicle you have hit. Some drivers turn their heads around and actually look behind them while backing. These motorists are often in vehicles that are still roughly the same shape as when they were purchased.

  15. If you back into another vehicle, it will be because it wasn’t there when you last looked. People who sneak up on you like that or drive invisible cars, are a menace. Get out of your car, walk back very calmly, say ‘Where the hell did you come from?’ and hit the other driver repeatedly with your white stick.

  16. If driving a brand new car, the way to indicate you are turning right is to sound the horn and turn the windscreen wipers on very rapidly. If turning left, activate the hazard lights, pop the petrol cap open and squirt some water on the back window.

  17. Country driving. The most efficient way to ensure that Australia’s vital rural industries are working to maximum potential is to place a single bale of hay on the tray of your ute and emerge from a very small side-road on to a major highway at a glacial velocity, sticking close to the middle of the road and rolling a smoke. If you run out of things to do, turn to the passenger’s seat after a few minutes and have a word with the dog.

  18. Everyone else on the road is insane.

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